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Simply Lived: Selected Poems

Thoughts from a brave girl 01/25/2019

I have felt like

I am on top of the world

like I was in a flower painted dress

the sun on my face as I twirled

I have felt like all was alright

I have felt the brightness in the dark--

I have felt like

I am drowning

Gasping for breaths in the depths of the sea

I didn’t have time to be frowning

I have felt my lungs fill to the brim

I have felt panic while trying to swim--

I have felt like

I needed to disappear

Like hiding was practically flying

then it was only myself to fear

I have felt the stomach aches and acidic taste

I have felt wasted tears -

I have felt like

I didn’t care

Like my feet were being moved for me

Not an emotion to spare

I have felt my face go numb

While trying to actually feel something--

I have felt like

My body is a vessel of passion

Dancing in my own world

Myself, a product of my actions

I have felt reward

Self love that came from working hard--

I have felt like

I am going insane

Like stillness was not an option

My mind didn’t wander but instead ran away

I have felt blood as my skin peeled back

I have felt the pains of what I lack--

I have felt like

I am just out of reach

Like the impossibility was a wall

No hope of being breached

I have felt hopeless

I have felt no one notice--

I have felt like

Nostalgia is my saving grace

Like progress driven by time

Allowed pride to take place

I have felt relief

I have felt strength--

I have not felt strong through it all

But I had strength every time I got up from a fall

Through every time I didn’t want to get out of bed

Through every single damn tear that I shed

Through every time things fell out of place

Until I could finally plaster that smile on my face -

These are the thoughts of a brave girl

Dance In The Rain 11/22/2018

For some reason -

I find myself searching

for a reason to cry

silly I know

but I think I know why

You see I want to see the concern in your eyes

as you hold me and tell me it will all be alright

I want you to lie--

tell me it’s fine

tell me you don’t mind giving me all of your time

wipe my tears

‘cause one of your fears

is looking into those glossy eyes of mine.

I say I want to be in pain

so I learn to dance in the rain

but maybe I just want you to dance with me

High on you

.5 seconds of your attention

Can get rid of any worry or fear

.5 seconds of your attention

And then I’m smiling ear to ear

You see the problem with being so high

Is that there’s nothing you can fear

Accept for falling from the clouds

Faster than that first falling tear

The higher you climb the harder it is to breathe

The higher you climb the harder it is to be free

When you’ve reached the top there is only room to go down

And a fall from that high means dropping

That smile to a frown

You drop from the clouds and into the ocean

Next thing you know you think you are going to drown

And this was all because you weren’t there to save me

It’s a cycle that goes round and round -

I hate that I depend on you,

You lifting me up -

‘Cause I know you can’t hold me there forever

You just aren’t strong enough

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